Posing, positioning and posturing

Steps in winning an argument

Composing a photograph or mental image

Battlefield adjustments and trickery

Sales techniques

BP’s PR campaign

The Candy Wars of June 2010

I have lost sleep over this…

Mars, the maker of M&M’s candy is running a special promotion.  You can place a message or a photograph on an M&M.  “Customize the candy,” they said.  “Personalize it.”  So I did.  And, they are wonderful!

But before I ordered the M&M’s, I e-mailed the company to check to see if M&M’s were Kosher.  The candies were to be a present to my grandkids, Rina and Sammy.  My Australian family keeps kosher and observes well more than 613 commandments.  They are Orthodox, very strict.

“Yes!” said Mars…”Kosher.”  So I ordered the M&M’s with pictures of Rina and Sammy.  And I clicked send.

Then, I wrote my daughter to assure her that M&M’s were Kosher and that I was intending to hide the sweet contraband in my suitcase.

That’s when the kosher candies hit the fan!

“Oh no!” she responded.  “You can’t bring them.  We observe a higher level of Kosher in our home.  The opinions of the Orthodox rabbis from the United States are not Kosher enough for us.  We answer to a higher authority and ours is better than yours.”

And that was the beginning of the Candy Wars of 2010.  Why one might think that the archduke had been assassinated or that Adolf had invaded the Sudetenland or that BP had a plan or a clue or a conscience.

Grampa Jer launched the first salvo…a direct hit on the arbitrary decision to follow shtetle logic and ancient practice that isolates, insulates and separates.  The returning volley contained the following talking point bullets.  *That’s how we choose to do it.  *We have to acknowledge that we are different.  *Let’s not talk about religion when you visit. 

I will never surrender to an anachronism!  I will never capitulate to a philosophical way of life based on a false premise!  I will not wear a black suite (I have 4) during their Erev Shabbat services!  I will not retreat into conditional love!  And, I will keep my mouth shut during my visit but not before or after it.

(The Rebbi eats M&M's)

Fundamentalism, extremism, cultism and orthodoxy are destructive, divisive and demonic in their faithful slavery to rigidity!  They diverge from life itself!

M&M’s anyone…I have some very sweet ones left over…with pictures of two of my grandchildren printed on them.  Very fresh!  Very Kosher for some and certainly non-lethal!

I was wondering…

Is there such a thing as civilization?

How does one measure progress?

Why is brutality a human sacrament?

When did sexual abuse and rape become normal?

Is empathy real?

Who has seen angels dance on the head of a pin?

Who said that a corporation was really a person?

Why is hatred a religious commandment?

Since when was a sexual affair considered unusual?

Why do hypocrites proliferate more rapidly than do truth sayers?

A curious, inquisitive and an inquiring mind wants to know.

John Wooden, 1910 – 2010

I was always studying for the winter quarter’s final exams in Rabbinical School during March Madness, the NCAA basketball championships.  One eye on the television and one eye on the Talmud…that was me.  So I got to know Coach John Wooden and his team, the UCLA Bruins, who made it to the championship game almost every year I was in Cincinnati, Ohio.

My first pulpit, in 1971, was in San Diego, California and I was fortunate enough to score a ticket to the NBA’s All Star Basketball game in LA.  There, I saw many of the best players who had played for Coach Wooden at UCLA. 

A member of my congregation asked me to officiate at the Bar Mitzvah of his son.  Dr. Lenny Bloom was an over leveraged Dentist who owned the NBA basketball franchise in San Diego.  Bloom wanted Coach Wooden to influence Bill Walton to play for his team.  So, he invited the Coach and his wife to the Bar Mitzvah.  And, I sat next to Wooden at the dinner.

I am 6’3” and my wife was 6’ and very pregnant.  So I offered the coach a dinnertime deal…I would pre-sign a letter of intent for the baby to attend UCLA and play for the Coach if he would send me season tickets to the b-ball games.  I am sad to say, it just didn’t happen.  My tall daughter, Beth, played high school volleyball instead.

Wooden was a mench, a mentor and a motivator.  His death is a significant loss.  He deserves all of the honors and accolades.

Many did not play for Coach Wooden

 Many great players did

The Keys to the Game

Sealed lips of faith

If only it were so…

To be secure in love’s vulnerability

To be safe from loss

To be secure financially

To trust family and friends

To make dreams come true

To always be present in the lives of the children

To fight off infection

To be forever popular

To walk upright every day

To have breath and blessings on the lips

To be in control

To live without illusion

To have a firm grasp of the truth

To live accountably and righteously

To believe faith is efficacious

To rely upon magic

To die peacefully

Oh Deer, What Can the Matter Be?

Several years ago, I counted the number of deer I saw in one drive home afternoon.  I had finished hiking in Pt. Reyes Park and drove back to Tiburon.  I counted 36 deer on the 30-mile drive back.  And that’s not counting over a hundred Tule Elk I saw at the end of Pierce Road, in the preserve.

A fawn used to hide at the edge of my carport in Mill Valley and most recently I passed a deer while driving on Tiburon Blvd. half way between downtown and my home.

I like them.  Always have.  They possess an elegance, a gracefulness and a skittishness that interests me.  So I am always glad when the camera is at the ready and they are at hand.

Blockade, Embargo and Bullsh-t

NYT

Remember the British blockade of Palestine that prevented the condemned to death due to their Jewish Identity from reaching the sands near Tel Aviv?  That’s why Begin’s bunch blew up British Military headquarters in the King David Hotel.  They were angry at the Brit’s passive hostility towards the coming Jewish State.  

Remember that boatload of German Jews the United States turned away from our shores letting hundreds of passengers fall into the ovens of the Nazi “atrocitors”?  

Remember the US blockade of Cuba preventing Russian missiles from deployment 90 miles off of the South Beach entertainment district?

Remember the ship the Israelis recently intercepted before it reached Gaza carrying tons upon tons of guns stacked upon guns?

Remember?

Remember that Hamas took office in Gaza and proceeded to kill Fatah leaders?  Remember that the political and the military sole existence of Hamas is to destroy Israel?  Remember?

Can you believe this: Fox news got it right…they correctly called the violence 70 miles out to sea an Islamic extremist plan to discredit Israel and Egypt.  Check the YouTube video that shows one of the extremist’s sadness that he was not killed in the Israeli raid and would have to wait for his martyrdom status.  What lunacy!

Yizkor – Remember!

Join My Fan Club

To enter you must be interesting, aesthetically pleasing and memorable.  You need be either dramatic or colorful.  You may hum while working.  You will get right to the point and will dispense with any hot air.

Sufi dervishes are preferable.  If you know how to dance the hora…all the better.  You need not be tops in your class, but it helps.

Those are the requirements for membership in my fan club.

Eye Candy and Window Dressings

Think of it…glass is a transparent liquid.  True.  After a hundred years or more a windowpane is thicker on the bottom than it is on the top.  Not everything is as it seems to be.

Glasses house

Glass jaw

Inside the looking glass

Glass menagerie

Windows on the world

Window dresser

Window to the soul

Drive up window

Window seat

Without our glass pane windows…where would we be?  Probably, back in the dark ages…

Get the Point?

Did the Big Bang project the universe in only one direction or is ground/space zero the center point?

Does our planet revolve around our corporations?

Is the Gulf of Mexico dead?

Get the point?

When did the complexion of the United States change from lily white to a colorful shade of blush?

Why is the GOP elephant so incapable of ballet?

How long has Wall Street been the hub of the world and how come we never noticed until recently?

Get the point?

Why will there only be three Jews on the US Supreme Court when Kagan is confirmed?

Why is the political arm of Hamas so impolitic?

If Israel is now in the eye of a great PR storm, doesn’t the world know that that is the safest place to be?

Get the point?