The Philosopher, Confucius, Used to Say:

(I thought these sayings were hysterical -- when I was 12!  Now, they are just politically and socially incorrect.  Hopefully you will not read the old jokes and go directly to the fine art photographs.)

“Crowded elevator smell different to midget!”

“Man who fly airplane upside down have crack up!”

"Before becoming master fisherman, must be master baiter."

"If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient."

"Man who eat photo of father, soon spitting image of father."

Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion!"

"Baseball is wrong.  Man with four balls cannot walk."

"He who chase car will get exhausted."

“Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.”

“Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get tone of A flat miner.”

“Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters in his own hands.”

“Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.”

“War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.”